Preparing Parents for Their Children’s Migration — A Guide from Start to Finish

Migration is an increasingly common choice for young adults in India, who seek opportunities in education, employment, or lifestyle improvements in new cities and countries. This choice brings a mixture of excitement and trepidation, especially for parents. For example, in Kerala, one of India’s states with a high rate of young people moving abroad, many elderly parents end up living alone. This reality has sparked a need for families to take steps that help both parents and children navigate the transition smoothly.

Here’s a complete guide for preparing parents for their children’s migration journey, from the initial conversation to building long-term support systems.

1. Open Conversations from the Start
Open, honest conversations about moving are essential. Young adults should include their parents in their decision-making, explaining the reasons behind the move and the opportunities it may bring. Parents can better understand and support the migration if they feel involved.

For instance, Kerala has one of the highest rates of migration abroad, with an estimated 2.1 million Keralites living outside India as of recent data. With Kerala’s aging population, parents are understandably concerned about their future. Studies show that Kerala leads in the proportion of elderly living alone, partly due to migration trending these concerns through open communication can ease the initial shock and help parents process the changes.

2. Planning Visits and Regular Communication
When the decision to migrate is made, it's crucial to set expectations about visits and communication frequency. Children should plan a realistic schedule to visit home and communicate regularly. Scheduling weekly video calls or setting specific times for phone conversations can provide both parents and children a sense of stability.

For example, some families in Kerala with children in the Middle East set up specific times for daily calls. This consistent contact can make the distance feel more manageable and give parents something to look forward to each day.

3. Empowering Parents to Be Self-Reliant
Before migrating, children can help parents become more self-sufficient. This process can include teaching them how to use technology for banking, paying bills, or ordering essentials online. Training them to use smartphones, email and video calling apps can empower them to reach out independently.

A study from Kerala showed that senior citizens, particularly those whose children had migrated, faced challenges in navigating new technologies. Many families found that helping parents become more tech-savvy reduced their reliance on neighbors or relatives, giving them a greater sense of control over their lives.

4. Arranging for Social and Community Support

Loneliness is a major concern for parents who stay behind, especially among the elderly. Encouraging parents to join community activities, religious gatherings, or social clubs can help them build a support system.

Kerala, in particular, has seen community initiatives that support elderly parents whose children are abroad. For example, some religious institutions and community centers in Kerala now offer social programs and health checkups for seniors. Children can help parents connect with these groups or even consider hiring local caregivers to support daily needs.

5. Creating Financial Security
Children migrating for work or study should discuss financial matters with their parents. Many parents feel more secure knowing they have a stable financial plan. This can include setting up a joint bank account, arranging for automatic bill payments, or creating an emergency fund.

Kerala’s history of migration means many families rely on remittances from abroad, yet without clear planning, parents may face financial strain if they are solely dependent on this income. Ensuring parents have a secure, independent financial base can ease concerns about the future.

6. Providing Health Care Support
Access to healthcare is crucial, especially for elderly parents. Children can help by ensuring their parents have a reliable healthcare plan, a list of emergency contacts and an arrangement for regular checkups.

In Kerala, for example, many older parents of migrants rely on private health care or community health services. Some hospitals now offer family membership plans where adult children can pay for their parents’ health care needs remotely. Children can also connect with local caregivers who can provide transportation for medical appointments or assistance during emergencies.

7. Preparing for Visits and Special Occasions
A parent’s desire to spend time with their children is natural, especially during special occasions. Planning visits for important family events, festivals, or holidays can keep parents feeling included in their children’s lives, even from afar.

In Kerala, many migrants return for Onam, a festival that is deeply meaningful to Keralites. Ensuring they visit during such times can strengthen family bonds and create treasured memories. If a visit isn’t possible, sending gifts or setting up a virtual celebration can help bridge the gap.

8. Encouraging a Sense of Purpose and Independence
Elderly parents may feel a sense of loss when their children move away. Helping them find a purpose can improve their mental well-being. This may mean encouraging hobbies, volunteer work or new social connections.

In Kerala, many parents of migrant children have started small businesses, taken up farming, or become active in local volunteer groups. Such activities not only occupy their time but also give them a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

With a little preparation and empathy, children can help their parents cope with the transition that comes with migration. Kerala’s example illustrates how parents can thrive when they have clear communication, financial and healthcare support and opportunities for social engagement. For families facing similar situations, these steps can make all the difference in ensuring that parents feel cared for, connected and prepared for their children’s journey.

Sources:
1. Kerala Migration Survey, Centre for Development Studies, Thiruvananthapuram
2. National Institute of Aging, Government of India