The Scarlet Letter of Freedom—A Tale of Gender in India
As we celebrate Independence Day, it’s impossible not to reflect on how freedom is experienced differently across a list of gender identities in India. The concept of freedom — doing as one pleases without interference — takes on a peculiar twist here. It seems that freedom, in its full measure, comes pre-installed with the Y chromosome. Boys are taught from birth that freedom is their birthright, an entitlement. In contrast, girls are subtly schooled in the art of asking for permission, starting from the very home they grow up in.
Birth of Freedom — Lessons Begin Early
Consider a family dinner where the young boy insists on staying out late with his friends. His mother, though initially hesitant, is quickly overruled by the father, who says, “Let him be; boys will be boys. He needs to experience life.” Conversely, when the daughter asks to attend a late-night study session at a friend’s house, the mother firmly responds, “No, it’s not safe for girls to be out at night”.
Training Young Boys to Respect All Genders
Why are we not training our boys from as early as age five, when we should understand how it is crucial to instill in boys a respect for others that transcends gender differences? Training boys to view their peers — regardless of gender or gender identity — as equals helps lay a strong foundation for a more equitable society. This education should emphasise that respect is not contingent upon gender but is a universal principle that applies to everyone. By encouraging young boys to understand and appreciate diverse gender identities and to treat all individuals with kindness and consideration, we foster empathy and challenge entrenched stereotypes from a formative age.
This early training is vital because it helps dismantle the biases and expectations that perpetuate gender inequality. In the long run, such an approach nurtures a generation that values and practices genuine respect, leading to a more inclusive and just society where everyone, regardless of gender, has the opportunity to thrive and contribute.
The son’s nightly escapades are celebrated as signs of independence, while the daughter’s aspirations are constrained under the guise of safety. It’s not just about nights out; it’s the daily narrative unfolding in countless homes across the country. Boys are encouraged to “be free, explore the world,” while girls are handed a list of restrictions, topped with a reminder to avoid bringing shame to the family.
Public Space — Men at Large, Women at Bay
This sense of freedom extends beyond the home. Public spaces become a playground for men and a minefield of restrictions for women. Men can loiter, linger, and lounge in parks, street corners, and tea stalls without a second thought. They smoke, spit, and scratch in public with impunity, all part of their “freedom package.”
Women, however, must navigate these spaces cautiously. They are taught to “be careful,” to remain alert, and to avoid drawing unwanted attention. A woman reading alone in a park might as well have a neon sign reading “Intruder Alert!” The glares and leers that follow are a silent reminder of the invisible boundaries she has crossed.
Attire further exemplifies this disparity. Men can wear vests and shorts freely, but a woman in a sleeveless top often faces scrutiny: “Are you sure you want to wear that? What will people think?” The freedom to dress as one pleases is an inherited privilege for boys, while girls are conditioned to prioritise public opinion over personal comfort.
Social Media — A Playground for Men, a Battleground for Women
The dichotomy of freedom also extends to the virtual realm. Social media, a platform for self-expression, becomes another space where men flex their “freedom muscles.” Men post selfies, comment freely, and express opinions — often with little regard for consequences. They might engage in heated debates or casual insults, but backlash is typically fleeting.
Women, conversely, must tread carefully. Posting a “too bold” picture invites moral policing and unsolicited advice. Sharing a strong opinion can lead to a barrage of hate messages, sometimes with threats of violence. A man posting a gym selfie is seen as “taking care of himself,” while a woman doing the same is labelled as “showing off” or “asking for attention.”
Women often face unwelcome DMs ranging from flirtatious to outright creepy, all under the guise of “freedom of expression.” If they call out such behaviour, they are accused of “overreacting” or “not being able to take a joke.” The freedom to express oneself is a double-edged sword, forcing women to navigate the fine line between self-expression and self-preservation.
Curious Case of Freedom of Choice
The disparity is even more evident when it comes to life choices. A son can pursue any career — be it as a DJ, wildlife photographer, or tech startup founder — without much resistance. The conversation at home revolves around how he’s “following his passion” and “making a mark.” Meanwhile, his sister aspiring to a career in fashion design or filmmaking faces questions about “stability” and “what people will say.”
Marriage is another battleground. A man in his thirties, still unmarried, is seen as a “free spirit” or “career-focused individual.” In contrast, a woman of the same age, still single, is viewed as a problem to be “fixed” quickly. The freedom to choose when or whether to marry remains another male privilege.
Let’s not forget the ultimate freedom some men enjoy — the freedom to flirt without consequence, to juggle relationships, and to cross boundaries regarding women’s bodies. They harass, catcall, and grope, knowing accountability is often negotiable. Respect, consent, or basic decency seem irrelevant to the freedom of doing as one pleases.
Where Does This Leave Us?
As India celebrates another year of independence, it’s worth questioning: What kind of freedom are we truly celebrating? Is it the freedom of the nation where all citizens, regardless of gender, can live equally, or is it a selective freedom that favours one half of the population over the other?
In many Indian homes, the concept of freedom is heavily skewed in favour of men. Boys grow up with a sense of entitlement, believing they are free to live life on their terms, while girls are taught that their freedom is conditional and can be revoked at any moment.
So, as you light candles, wave flags, and sing the national anthem today, ask yourself: Is freedom truly free in India, or does it come with a gender-based price tag? And more importantly, how long will we continue to celebrate a freedom that’s only half-baked?
The idea that the honour of a family lies in the female reproductive organs and mammary glands is a harmful and deeply flawed belief rooted in patriarchal structures. It reduces women’s worth to their bodies, disregarding their individuality, intellect, and humanity. This notion perpetuates gender inequality, justifying control over women’s bodies and choices. True honour should stem from values such as respect, integrity and compassion, not from oppressive ideas that strip women of their dignity and agency. Empowering both women and men to reject such outdated views is essential for creating a just and equal society.
Men are often worried about women’s financial independence and the shift in traditional power dynamics. The lyrics of this song resonate deeply with the struggle for gender equality and the quest for personal freedom. They echo the sentiments of many women who strive to assert their independence and challenge societal norms:
Wishing all the men a liberating Independence Day — may you continue to bask in the freedom to live life on your terms, to speak without fear of backlash, to dress as you please, and to roam the world without apprehension. After all, what’s freedom if not your divine right?
To the women, here’s to your “freedom” — may you continue to navigate the constraints of permission, live within the safe walls of “what will people say,” and uphold family honour. May you dream, as long as those dreams fit within the box society has crafted for you.
And to the LGBTQ community, may you continue to enjoy the “freedom” of living in the shadows, of hiding your true self to avoid judgement. May your “freedom” be as conditional as ever, parcelled out in small, tolerable doses to ensure the status quo remains intact.
Happy Independence Day, where freedom remains a gift for some and a battleground for others. As we raise our flags, let us confront the harsh truth: our celebration of freedom may be nothing more than a masquerade for the inequality that persists.
True progress begins when we confront and dismantle the barriers that restrict not only what women can achieve but also how freely they can shape their own lives and destinies.
